Skip the first two minutes unless you a sucker. Lyrics and links after “the jump”.

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Derek Yu. The mere utterance of his name conjures up images of the American pioneers; the first dog sent to space. The father of modern indie gaming. His career a figurative rocketship cast off into the heavens of indie stardom. Ah, yes, but as with a rocketship who’s exhausted its fuel, the slight curvature of the brow of Derek Yu suggests he has now made the stark realization of a force much greater than even his own. A force called Ironic Gravitation — a force recognized by a Sir Isaac Newton falling into a basket of apples. Derek Yu. Facing, as the French would say, his dénouement. Hurling towards abject failure (a thing the French are oft cited for as well).

Before a drug is properly introduced into the public for mass consumption and abuse, it must be certified by the FDA. Its dosages scientifically calculated so as to ensure lucrativity in a world of recreational drug use. This is why Crest White Strips are not natively sold in England because they contain too high a concentration of peroxide. This is why LSD is not natively sold in America, because it gives too much power to the seedy underclass oft associated with the distribution of this otherwise innocuous drug. Let it be said, however, that these restrictions are not arbitrary; these restrictions are so placed in consideration for the benefit and safety of all mankind.

The leaked beta of Spelunky is pre-FDA Derek Yu. Pure, unfiltered Derek Yu — unfiltered in the sense that NIGSource is “Independent Gaming News. Unfiltered.” as in, it is filtered only through the Derek Yu’s mind, the filtrous (Real word? It should be) opposite of an ordinary filter — letting through only large particles and holding back the small ones (The particles being a metaphor for indie games, as are most things in life). Spelunky contains a deadly concentration of Derek Yu, unfit for public consumption, or at least, human consumption.

Therein lies an unfettered look into the madness that is Derek Yu’s mind — a mind wrought with Cave Story ‘references’ (note the ‘quotes’ [heh, I paralyze myself with my own wit]), which, when scrutinized under the microscope of journalistic integrity, seems a little bit ironic. Ironic Gravitation.

The following is as objective a description of Spelunky’s gameplay. (more…)

I’d like to preface this post with a rather poignant quote. Not preface the entire post though, because I feel it cheapens my genius if I don’t place several layers of abstraction between myself and other writers.

You enjoy all the killing, that’s why!

- Liquid Snake, from the little known video game “Metal Gear Solid”, of the Playstation era (truly the cave paintings of our medium)

Despite the rabid squawking of the “mainstream press”, and I’ve put that in quotes as you’re reading a blog and so you were probably born in 1997 and have never even seen a newspaper, violence has long been the premiere method of exploring morality in art. This is more than simply due to the effect that being edgy and offensive has on the unwashed masses, but because mindless (and on occasion most rare, mindful) slaughter, simulated though it may be, allows us to tear down the barriers erected by our corrupt society and confront the innermost tennets of our being: right and wrong.

Pro Killer Man is more than a Hitman parody, it is a stark indictment of human behaviour and the seedy underbelly of our world that we refuse to acknowledge.

“I need you to kill people.”

“Ok.”

There are people, people like you or I (ok maybe just plebes and ruffians like you, I am a man of refined taste and unparalleled culture) for whom this is not a satirical statement. People kill for money, for a variety of reasons, and much like video game developers, some are professional (me) and some are amateurs (Phil Fish, I very much doubt he has killed a person at all). Loud bumper stickers instruct us to praise and glorify the most prolific killers of our time, indeed, theirs is seen as a glorious task. What of the contract killer? Here we find a great silence.

In Pro Killer Man, you find yourself as a stylised member of the faceless masses, with orders to kill other human beings, for reasons unbeknownst to you. It’s not your job to care, as the vastness and depth of human emotion you will confront in the act of taking a life is enough to wrestle with. It’s a simple keyboard and mouse setup, which I decided to unsimplify, by using a laptop trackpad as a constant reminder that snuffing out the great spark of consciousness in a sentient being is no easy task. The eternal soul, at once so resilient, and yet so fragile, dissipates to another plane upon contact with a bullet. The choice you face is simple, them or you.

There are consequences for killing. There are laws. There is a balance to be maintained, though it is not so steadfast that a resilient man cannot upset it, that he cannot take so many lives and his own remain intact. But what kind of hollow life is this?

The hollow life of the Pro Killer Man, riding into the horizon with his bountiful wealth, and his abyssal soul.

Pro Killer Man (Direct Link) by JW, 2.85 MB

There is no finer art than the art of boxing. An exhibition of sheer physical strength between two noble warriors, forged in the fires of fierce regiment, honed by the brunt of a clenched fist. Thrust, parry. These words mean nothing to a boxer, a matured fighter — one does not dilly dally with playthings such as rapiers or swords. He is his own weapon. The ring is his battlefield. Two enter. Only one shall emerge victorious. Except in the case of a draw, wherein both have failed inexplicably.

But artists such as we have no time for such barbaric sport, lest we forget about the most important muscle of them all: that of the mind. Edward Bulwer-Lytton once said, and I quote: “the pen is mightier than the sword,” a phrase to which I would, well, ascribe (heh) were the pen not antequated by the Blog. But what battlefield have we? Where can artists such as we find a place to battle quite literally, our wits?

The answer, of course, are internet forums. Never has technology afforded us to speak our mind without fear of physical harm but through internet forums. Never have we been able to isolate body (fat, bearded, tiny pig eyed) from mind (absolutely brilliant) but through internet forums.

A Scene, The Making Of celebrates these intellectual engagements with a name that highlights both the grand spectacle of such an exchange as well its relevance to the Scene as a whole (note the capital S, which imparts omnipotence and credence). “Making a Scene” in every sense of the phrase.

This week’s scene comes from the Game Maker Community’s thread on Abandoned, which is, as you should now be fully aware, indie as hell.

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(Note: This review was written for the first demo of the game. All the links in the post have been updated to a more recent version)

Ninjas. The last refuge of the truly untalented, the jazz music of video games. Did you ever wonder why Arnold Schwarzenegger was always wildly firing guns, and not delivering complex soliloquies? Consequently, his talents never led him to the ultimate prize. No, not a big shiny statue, but anonymous people on the Internet lauding his artistic merit.

Such is the fate of the ninja game.

To be sure, there is not the faintest whisper of an artistic message, nor the dullest glint of an inner, obfuscated yet exquisite beauty to be found in JW‘s Super Ninja Hunter, and it has fallen into the filthy pit that commercial games writhe in until they embrace death.

Using your, it pains me to say, grappling hook (sigh, let me bust out my accented e) you maneuver the game’s protagonist about the levels, shooting your enemies – I’ll not stoop to typing the n-word again in this article – until they are dead, and you can progress to the next level, culminating in a boss battle. I just checked my shelves, and rest assured, the molds are still there and intact.

Sure, there’s a visceral thrill, fun, if you will, about the mechanics of it all, but this is the year 2008, is this really what we are playing games for? We may be lagging on the technology for flying cars, and monogrammed silver jumpsuits, but I would have hoped for a level of intellectual development amongst the game-consuming public.

If you’re an uncultured savage, by all means, download this game, I’m sure you’ll have a “blast”. However, if you’ve ever spoken a word of Nihongo, ever thematically analysed a French silent film, cried at an art game, or picketed a Gamestop, halt thy clicking finger, lest thy eyes roll so hard they eject from their very sockets. This isn’t buried treasure, it’s a shiny penny atop the sands, lying in wait until it is spirited away by a pea-brained magpie.

Super Ninja Hunter Ancient Civ Edition by JW, 1.82 MB

(Click the ”Download Now” button under “Play Offline” on bottom right.)

World Drawn By Me: Legend of Two Heroes is a controversial new platformer from the aptly named Hell Room. The story is told through a series of comic strips and tells the story of two brothers whose world becomes invaded by forces of darkness. The two brothers are part of a people called “Bigeyes” who are the “keepers of colours.” They have to escape to the “Black Citadel” in order to regain peace in their world. Ahem. Forces of “darkness?” ”Keepers of colours?” “Black Citadel?” Yeah. He went there.

The gameplay consists of getting the “two heroes” (Who are white. Surprised? Hardly.) to the exit. To do this, the two must work together. The older brother is faster (as is made apparent in the second level), and has the ability to push blocks, and throw (yes, THROW) his younger brother. If you want to (and the game tempts you in unspeakable ways), you can even throw the younger brother into a pit. Now, I’m all for video games as an interactive narrative form, but where do we draw the line between narrative and indoctrination? Is this game simply a means of telling a story, or is it training us to throw our siblings into deadly pits? You decide. But know that the answer is the “yes, a thousand times, yes“.

The music, while very well composed, is highly reminiscent of 日本一ソフトウェア‘s 魔界戦記 ディスガイア (Nippon Ichi’s Disgaea for you plebians), a game that unsurprisingly, makes light of satanic behavior. Hell Room (Note the name), you have a lot of explaining to do.

World Drawn By Me (Direct Link) by Hell Room, 14 MB

БдsicдllЧ, Чou reдd post, Чou click liИk.

Little Girl in Underland (Direct Link) by The Ivy, 10 MB.

Lyrics after “the jump.”

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Zombies, pandas, and lists. What do these three things have in common?

Answer: Pretentious indie girls LOVE them.

With NIGJam approaching, there’s no better way to lose your v-card to a hot pretentious indie gamer girl than by pretending to be at the pulse of independent games by namedropping a bunch of the really obscure ones.

As such, memorize this list:

5. Virtual Silence by Virtanen, is a game in which one of the gameplay mechanics is, basically, to ignore your way out of impossible situations. There are three levels, each with a clever puzzle at the end that will test the limits of your ability to both think and ignore things. It never really quite achieved NIGSource status because anyone with the ability to ignore their way past the first level would’ve already ignored their way past the big, blue download link. Indie chicks dig indie guys who are naïve. Practice being that by playing this game.

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Erin “The Ivy” Robinson (our only Indie Game Artist Spotlight) has posted pictures of an upcoming game of hers called Little Girl in Underland, which is basically her artist’s interpretation of the relatively underground fairy tale, Alice in Wonderland, which was later picked up by the fat cats at Disney and turned into a stupid mainstream movie. The game features “three secret weapons, five secret levels, killing, capitalism, and magic smiling cat,” and blah blah in Soviet Russia game plays you whatever fffffffff. This game will rule and all but I’m afraid of it pushing our beloved indie superstar out of the indie spotlight and into the mainstream blackhole, wherein no light exists.

More pictures after “the jump.”

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