A Scene, The Making Of: Abandoned
Posted by Mr. Podunkian at 3:35 am on September 13th, 2008There is no finer art than the art of boxing. An exhibition of sheer physical strength between two noble warriors, forged in the fires of fierce regiment, honed by the brunt of a clenched fist. Thrust, parry. These words mean nothing to a boxer, a matured fighter — one does not dilly dally with playthings such as rapiers or swords. He is his own weapon. The ring is his battlefield. Two enter. Only one shall emerge victorious. Except in the case of a draw, wherein both have failed inexplicably.
But artists such as we have no time for such barbaric sport, lest we forget about the most important muscle of them all: that of the mind. Edward Bulwer-Lytton once said, and I quote: “the pen is mightier than the sword,” a phrase to which I would, well, ascribe (heh) were the pen not antequated by the Blog. But what battlefield have we? Where can artists such as we find a place to battle quite literally, our wits?
The answer, of course, are internet forums. Never has technology afforded us to speak our mind without fear of physical harm but through internet forums. Never have we been able to isolate body (fat, bearded, tiny pig eyed) from mind (absolutely brilliant) but through internet forums.
A Scene, The Making Of celebrates these intellectual engagements with a name that highlights both the grand spectacle of such an exchange as well its relevance to the Scene as a whole (note the capital S, which imparts omnipotence and credence). “Making a Scene” in every sense of the phrase.
This week’s scene comes from the Game Maker Community’s thread on Abandoned, which is, as you should now be fully aware, indie as hell.
Key elements of the exchange include the conclusion of PetzI’s initial post, “I hope you make a great game someday.” A rather courteous thing to say after indiscriminately calling every item in his game “boring” and every area the “goddamn same”… Or so it would seem.
Hope (verb): to look forward to with desire and reasonable confidence.
You see, hope is something you have for something that has not already happened; something that you wish to see happen at a future time that is not now – i.e. “i hope you feel better” to a someone who is currently or “i hope you eat shit and die” to someone who is currently alive and presumably not eating shit. In fact, it is quite literally impossible to tell someone “I hope you eat shit and die” if they are already dead, or if they are already eating shit, just as it’s quite literally impossible to tell someone “I hope you make a great game someday” if they’ve already made… ah, yes. Point punctuated by the word “someday.” Such unfettered panache is rarely seen in this conservative cesspool we call “modernity.”
jaj’s response is the classic “everybody is different” approach — a tactic that is often used by combatants whose skills of wit are on par with that of a village fool at best. Highlights from his rebuttal: a comparison between apples to eggs on the basis that they are both round which is then used to prove that his game is a great game. His final tactic is the oft-used sarcastic thanks, but it fails to leave any sort of lasting impression on PetzI, who responds with a post that contains boldface.
Yes. Boldface. The uppercut of cyberculture. Used in moderation, it has enough literary force to figuratively knock an opponent into submission. PetzI unfortunately squanders away this privilege on a description of The Legend of Zelda: The Ocarina of Time. Ten years ago, Miyamoto is violently awakened from his sleep, the mark of boldface imprinted firmly on his chin.
The rest of the post devolves to petty squabbling over semantics. Despite the impressive force of PetzI’s initial offensive, he fails to maintain that momentum throughout the fight. jaj puts up a valiant effort for a baby, maybe, and an illiterate one that that. As such, it is with great displeasure and general apathy that the final judgement for this particular Scene is a draw. Yes, an inexplicable failure.
September 13th, 2008 at 6:01 am
Any classes I can take on making a scene more successfully? I want to learn!
September 13th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
actually parrying is a huge part of boxing you stupid asshole
September 13th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
Not that I would expect you to know the first thing about any of the world’s great athletic endeavours.
September 13th, 2008 at 6:00 pm
ahahahahahahaha that was pretty good! semper games!
September 13th, 2008 at 7:48 pm
teh
September 13th, 2008 at 9:04 pm
two future master debaters! xD
September 13th, 2008 at 10:10 pm
FUCKK YOU
p.s. I am not really PetzI
September 14th, 2008 at 2:27 am
review a babby
September 14th, 2008 at 2:27 am
ps we ave the same birthday
September 14th, 2008 at 6:58 am
“Tghe 100 meter sprint? what is that like a mile or something???” – arthur “mr ppodunkian” lee
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